Selfish
by lillibug618
Summary: Blaine Anderson admits he has flaws. Being selfish is not one of those flaws. Oneshot, hints of Klaine.


**This is my first attempt at fanfic of any kind, so please tell me what you think!**

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><p>Blaine Anderson admits he has flaws. He admits he uses way to much hair gel, he admits he can be oblivious as hell sometimes. He admits that he has had some <em>issues <em>in the past, but who wouldn't if they went through what he did?

However, Blaine Anderson is not selfish. He only brings Kurt home when his dad isn't there, providing comfort for them both. He lets Finn take all the solos. That saves him from being killed, at least. It also spares the Hudson-Hummel family a _lot_ of awkwardness when Blaine joins them for Friday night dinners. Blaine almost refused the lead in the school play so his boyfriend could have it and get into the school of his dreams. He would have, too, if Kurt hadn't all but forced him to take the role. Blaine prides himself on his ability to put others before his own needs, even though at this point he was getting a bit tired of it.

He misses his friends. Trent, Nick, Jeff, Thad, David- he misses them every day. He misses Dalton, the smell of the polished tables, the manicured gardens, the tie, and even the gavel. He misses the blazer especially. The thick polyester blend served Blaine like a comfort blanket. When he wore it, he was safe. He was safe from the bullies, from the danger of being out in Ohio.

He's only at McKinley for Kurt. Blaine told him he was there for himself, but it was a lie. Blaine usually didn't lie. Blaine _hated _lying. But he was at McKinley for Kurt, only Kurt, to make him happy, to make his senior year magic.

Blaine thought it would be amazing to go to McKinley. He thought he would be running around holding hands with Kurt and feeling bubbly all the time. It wasn't like that, not at all, and he should have known. Classes were boring, even though he was in all AP. As he sat back at his desk in English, a class in which he could tune the teacher out and still ace, his phone buzzed with a text in his pocket. Nonchalantly, he pulled it out, made sure the teacher wasn't looking (not that she would have noticed anyway), and read it.

_From Jeff Sterling: I wish u could have been here to see the number we just did! The council finally gave Trent the solo, he killed it! I'm pretty sure someone filmed it. If they did I'll send a link!_

Blaine smiled wistfully as he typed a reply. He really wishes he could be there, too, back at Dalton with the Warblers.

_From Blaine Anderson: Can't wait to see it! I bet it was fabulous._

He knows it was. The Warblers could pull numbers out of nowhere and they all brought the house down. It doesn't matter who led them, the Warblers could win Nationals.

With the current situation with the New Directions, they weren't qualified to even participate at Sectionals, and that put a pang in Blaine's heart. He wanted to see their dreams come true, especially Kurt's. He wants everything for Kurt. The dreams, the fantasies, the wishes. Blaine could make them all come true for Kurt.

Blaine wonders when he could make them come true for himself. With a sigh, he tries to shove those thoughts aside. The remainder of the day passes by in a blur of biting back tears and relishing in the extreme boredom his junior classes provided him, gritting his teeth every time the, "You're supposed to be a senior," thought passed through his mind. He goes to Glee club with a plastered and forced smile on his face, plopping down next to Tina when he remembers Kurt had decided to take the day off because he was feeling under the weather.

When he finally goes to his locker for the final time that day, Blaine spins the dial and yanks his the door open. It's when he's dialing Kurt's number to ask for an update and if he needs anything when he feels something freezing and sticky dripping down his head. Another slushie. Great. The unknown jock is laughing stupidly as he crunches the cup, drops it, and walks away.

Blaine doesn't bother to clean up or change, since he's about to go to Kurt's anyway. He can't bring himself to care that he's staining the seats in his car with the slushie that's weighing down his clothes and making his heart feel like it's a rock in his chest. Blaine flicks the turn signal in the direction of Kurt's street, but his fingers freeze. _Take care of yourself, just this one time, _he begs himself. He turns his blinker off and speeds up to the freeway in the direction of home.

When he pulls up to his driveway, still shivering at the cold from the slushie, he notes that he's the only one home, as usual. Blaine allows himself a few seconds of self pity before gathering his bag and heading inside.

He turns on the shower and steps in, letting the tears fall. He wishes that the desire to transfer back to Dalton would go down the drain with the red corn syrup and tears, but it doesn't. If anything, it only builds with each passing minute.

He's tired of being the bigger man, always putting himself aside for other people. He wants to go to a school that doesn't have a slushie machine, a school that has a glee club that has enough members to run and doesn't have fights every day. He wants to go back to Dalton, be with his friends, in a school where more than one person would bother to be concerned if they found him like this, reduced to a complete wreck and crying, in the shower of all places. He wants to go home.

_Be strong for Kurt, _he thinks. _It's only Kurt that matters._


End file.
